Thursday, October 22, 2009

Greg's Thoughts on Paranormal Activity

The hype surrounding Paranormal Activity has been crazy. The funny thing, about hype is that the reality never quite lives up. Now at this point, two sentences in, you must thinking, “Fuck him, he doesn’t know shit. That movie was great.” Well, you’re right it is a great movie, but did it live up to the “I had to walk out I was so scared” hype? Certainly not. It’s a movie. You know it, and I know it. The demons aren’t going to follow you home from the theater. Did the script and situations, sufficiently immerse you into the characters and settings? In my opinion, they did, but the scares just weren’t THAT scary. Perhaps the cynic in me is just too powerful to let me fall in far enough…..

If you want to scare me you will need two things: A zombie creating agent and some bears to turn into zombies. Now that would be scary. Imagine, your walking through the woods, and you see this nice cuddly baby bear, but somethings not quite right. As you back away behind you a branch falls, when you turn, IT’S MOMMA ZOMBIE BEAR!!!!!


Run for your life, because if there is anything that will live up to the hype, it’s a zombie bear.

Changing it up a bit, do you know what I find fun? Chainsaws. These tools of destruction are immensely fun to turn on unsuspecting trees and hookers. The big problem is the person tells you “Cut here and here” has been the victim of a massive stroke. Do not trust this person’s cuts, otherwise that tree, will fall on your pool. It happened to me.


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